My Journey Through Menopause Begins: from symptoms to Mirena

Bad Education

Menopause marks a significant chapter in a woman’s life, often filled with uncertainty and change. So why is the education we receive so limited? My earliest memory of women's health being talked about was at primary school, you know that slightly odd moment when the boys & girls were separated so we could be told about periods without them having to be subjected to the awkwardness of that word - hardly surprising that some men choose to shuffle papers and look away, when they were conditioned from an early age to view women's health as a secret, locked away behind a closed door!

Fast forward a few years to those Personal Health Sex Education lessons - my main memory of these was that they were led by our RE teacher and she invited a vicar to come along, who promptly asked a room full of teenage girls if we believed in sex before marriage!

And that was it! Bar being invited to my regular smear tests, there has been no real education since then, even when I reached the age of 40 and started barrelling towards perimenopause.

So, when did my journey through the wonderful world of menopause begin? I've been doing a lot of reading lately and having a lot more conversations on this topic so it is clear that no journey is the same, we are all unique - some of us wake up one day and just know but for me it took a while to really recognise that something had changed.

Some women can give a date and maybe even a time when it all started but, for me, at a best guesstimate it probably started about two years ago, when I hit the age of 47. I've always experienced cramping ahead of my period and I've never had a clear pattern of arrival, but once it started it ran its course in pretty much the same way every month.

But then it started to change - and it didn't even cross my mind that this might be the start of menopause - weirdly because in my mind there was one symptom of menopause in my mind, hot flushes. I literally thought I'd get a few hot flushes, my period would stop and that would be that!

My periods started to get heavier and the cramping so bad I could barely stand. It was a horrible time, with the bleeding so heavy nothing was enough. It would also try and trick me into thinking it as done for the month - stopping for a couple of days and then returning in full swing. Never before have those tampax adverts with women in white playing tennis seemed so ridiculous. I was standing at my wardrobe, finding the darkest item of clothing possible because I couldn't trust that my body was going to behave.

I recall a day quite early on when I had a meeting booked in with one of our directors, and had to stand her up because I had literally flooded, I had to go home to change. Not only was this an upsetting experience, it was also anxiety inducing - how was I going to explain my absence!

Even then, I ignored it, I knew something had changed but I didn't want to bother the GP.

The symptoms began to grow. It got to the point where I had a couple of days a month where I felt 'normal' - extreme nausea, headaches that just wouldn't clear, sore boob. To be honest at one point I genuinely thoughts I was pregnant at nearly 50!

Recognising the need for help!

When I really think about it, the reason I finally chose to seek some help had absolutely nothing to do with the changes I was experiencing in my body, it was this inert need to be 'a people pleaser', to be that ultra helpful, ultra supportive person. Even when people are quickly frankly taking the piss. And then suddenly I wasn't so calm and accepting, I was filled with rage, a rage I could not control. I remember being sat in a meeting and literally wanting to scream. I was angry. They knew it. And that scared me.

So basically I sought help because I didn't want to offend a room full of men. Not sure whether to laugh or cry at that one! Because by this point I did know this must be the start of my menopause journey, I'd by now gone a long to a couple of menopause cafes at work and had finally come to the realisation that menopause was a lot more than a hot flush or two - but like so many of us, I just kept pushing on and not seeking the help I really needed.

But that rage got me there, at least it did get me on the path to support.

And then there was SAL!

Sal Roberts. She was spoken about by women working at the practice as some form of mythical creature. Sent to us mere mortal women to save us from our symptoms! Of course, in reality she is a woman, just like us but does she now her stuff? Hell yes!

Sitting in front of her was like winning the lottery. I'd make it to the top of the waiting list. I was going to be cured! Okay, okay, don't worry I didn't walk in there expecting to come away 'fixed' but it was the start I needed - and the start that I am fully aware is not what happens for a lot of women who find themselves sat before a healthcare professional who seems to view menopause as some alien proposition that we should just get on with or PROVE with unnecessary blood tests.

It was not long before I finally recognised that all these symptoms were me hitting perimenopause. Symptoms that had been reducing me to tears, that had my head spinning, that meant I sat, in a state of panic, trying to work out whether my holiday was going to be one of blissful relaxation or one where sitting by the pool would fill be with anxiety and fear.

I was angry that it had taken me so long but thankful to be sitting across from Sal, a woman who understood, who was able to guide me and who ultimately gave me my life back. Sound extreme? Not at all. If you are like me and have experienced a deluge of severe symptoms, this is exactly what getting help feels like!

It's not all about the HRT

I could not stop myself. I blurted it out, like I was a game show contestant. HRT, HRT, HRT (it may not have been exactly like that but its my blog, and a but of artistic licence is allowed!). But seriously, I might not have shouted it out three times but I did blurt it out - and she did not flinch, she didn't look at me as if I was a deranged woman, desperate for help. She responded firmly but kindly, telling me that HRT was not right for me just now.

Now I am someone who needs things explained, I like to understand. Sal did so without prompting. As is so often the case, that word popped up: Oestrogen. Much of my reading and research has focussed on this in terms of a decline. But what was explained to me during that much needed visit, was that my symptoms were likely caused by over-production, with my body seeking to replace what had started to decline.

So flooding my body with more of it wasn't going to help, in fact it was likely to make it even worse. And that us when she introduced the Mirena coil. A coil as menopause treatment? I had only ever thought about a coil as a contraceptive so it felt a bit left field.

We had a good chat about it and I discovered that the coil would slowly release progesterone into my body, which should alleviate the majority of symptoms I'd been discussing with her. She showed me the coil, explained the procedure and provided answers to all my questions.

I was sold. But then I was back on another wait list - cue anger, rage and emotion (not directed at Sal I might add, I reserved it for the drive home!)

The wait is over!

Being completely honest, I turned down the first appointment. Anxiety about the procedure had risen and out came an excuse as to why I couldn't attend. By the time I was offered another, I knew I had to do something. The severity of the symptoms outweighed the worry about the actual procedure.

One thing that stuck with me about the appointment was the nurse who joined Sal, offering moral support to me as much as she was there to support Sal. She told me she had the Mirena Coil BUT to be able to get it she had to change doctor's surgery. There is a shortage of those who are trained and , here again, we see inconsistency in the support available to women. It has got to change!

How was the procedure? It was a bit uncomfortable but it didn't take long. Sal was very clear with me: be patient. It might take a few months for me to really notice the difference, but it would help. And she was right.

Despite my frustration that I have never fully stopped bleeding, the heavy impactful ones topped, the cramping improved and the nausea, sore boobs and headache faded away.

The Mirena coil gave me relief and a bit of much needed respite before more symptoms started creeping in.

This felt like the first, important step in taking back control over my body. And it made me realise how little I knew, how this lack of education is a BIG issue. I wasn't quite confident enough back then to share my journey, to play my part in encouraging open conversation and learning. But here I am today, a podcast in play, socials focussed on the topic and now a website that is up and running and here to help!

I'm no medical professional, I'm no expert but I am a woman with lived experience, refusing to go through this journey alone.

Thank you for joining me, together we can make sure that never again do these conversations have to happen behind closed doors.

Until next time,

Rachel x.